Who Actually Participated in the Early Morning, All-Mission, Scripture Read?

Remember it? Each year, President Pope would select a book of scripture. Every morning, at the same time, the entire mission was to rise and, and as an apartment, read 5 or 10 pages (I can't remember which) from that book. The idea was that it would unify the entire mission in scripture study and prayer.

My trainer did it with me. After that...........no. Never again. Not a single apartment I ever lived in participated in it. And I never initiated it, either.

アイ ライク ビグ バツ アンド アイ カナト ライ

There are some things I did on the mission that . . . I may be going to Hell for. Irreverent things that I took part in out of sheer hilarity. Most often, but not always, Tanner was there while these aforementioned "things" were going down. I want to say that they were all his idea, but that maybe me trying to buck some of the responsibility to save my soul.

One such instance occurred towards the end of my mission, when I was in Naha. I was the leader of a district that, if I remembered correctly, consisted of Tanner, Denning, Ishi Shimai, Ikushima Shimai, Tokuno and myself.

One day at the end of district meeting an idea was had. Why don't we write various English sayings in Katakana and have the Nihonjins in the district read it out loud . . . you know, to see if it's hilarious or not?

"アイ ライク ビグ バツ アンド アイ カナト ライ" was written on the white board, we counted to three and then Tokuno and the shimais read it out loud. "Ai raiku bigu batsu ando ai kanato rai" which sounded close enough to "I like big butts and I can not lie" to send us into effusive fits of laughter.

This practice was repeated many times at the end of many other district meetings. Other phrases were also incorporated into this practice, like for instance, "ルク アト イト ベフォル イト デストローーーーーーーーユス ヨー" (or "Look at it before it destroooooooooys you!" which is from a SNL skit Denning often entertained us with)


Not long after this time the two Naha districts were combined into one, and I can't remember if we continued writing things in Katakana for the Nihonjin Senkyoshi's to read, but here we are. Pictured in this photo is the new combined Naha District: (Top) Tokuno, Ishi, Ikushima, (Middle) Estez, Glass (me), Cohn, Walquist, Wood, Denning and Tanner.

Still to this day I can't help but laugh when I think of their innocent faces earnestly trying to sound out the hook from Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back, completely oblivious to the meaning. Then I remember that some day I am going to have to answer for what I have done.